A Walk To Remember: Chapter 13 Virgin
"Jeff, give the phone to matt, it's an emergency."
"Okay, okay okay chill."
I heard him telling Matt, it was me.
"Sarah? Did you watch?"
"Yes, and thats a part of the emergency..."
"Part?"
"Well, I kind of sort of wanted to make things up too you..so i'm..well..i'm outside of your house, wheres your key it's like 25 degrees outside."
"YOUR OUTSIDE MY HOUSE? HOW DID YOU? WHY DID YOU? WHAT?"
"I'm sorry just i'll be here when your here."
"I'm coming. Right now."
"Matt you almost got fired last night, lets not do that again."
"Jeff will cover for me, i'm going see you in a few hours."
and that was it. He was coming and I couldn't stop it. He forgot to tell me where the key was so I just sat on the front porch freezing. When he got there I didn't tell him I was cold, just went inside and acted like nothing happend.
"Are you hungry? Cold, anything?"
"Matt i'm fine, i've only been here a few hours and I ate before I left."
"Sarah, sit down."
I sat down and listened. I might as well seeing as I almost cost him his job, twice.
I didn't feel like arguing so I knew it couldn't be something too important.
"You know I love you...I said during Smackdown that I was sorry I fell in love with you because I caused you pain, I lied, i'm not sorry for falling in love with you, and I never will be. I'm sorry for causing you pain though."
I put my head on top of his chest and just laid there listening to his heart beat.
"All I ever wanted was to find the one, and now that I have, I don't know what to do with her. She means the world to me, and all i want to know is if she's sorry for falling in love with me?"
I stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Finally I cupped my hands around his face and leaned in close enough for him to feel the breath coming off my lips.
I leaned in even closer, so close our lips were almost touching. Then I wispered no,
and layed back down.
"Sarah?"
"Yes?"
He moved my head hit the floor, I don't think he meant for it to hurt, but it did.
Matt layed down next to my side and was off into space, I wanted to know what was going on it that head of his. All the sudden I felt him getting over top of me.
I was nervous, someone his weight could easily crush me, but he didn't. He was gentle.
He moved in towards my lips and kissed them, so gentle I almost didn't feel it.
"Good."
I layed there stunned, I had nothing more to say. Last time I kissed him, he couldn't get fired over what i'd done. This time he kissed me something he's never done. Just then his cellphone rang. Great way to ruin the moment. He got an intense look on his face and then left. I wanted to know so bad what was going on, but I wasn't about to be nosy.
"Shawn, listen it's not like that."
"Matt, you think i'm stupid? Jeff told me you weren't here because you went to go see her. I'm not telling anyone I just need to talk to you. Papa bear to his lil'
cub."
"Well then papa, thanks but I got everything under control."
"You love her. Don't deny that. But she's 14 Matt, it seems as if you've forgotten."
"I know, thats why I haven't done anything."
"You've kissed her, it's not hard to see behind your lies."
"Shawn? Why do you have to know everything, your like my dad."
"Thats what i'm here for, now do you want to talk?"
"It's just, it's so hard for me. I really don't feel like going to prision but it's hard to control. She is more beautiful then anyone, anything i've ever seen or met.
Everything about her is just right. I kissed her tonight Shawn. You know how hard it was for me to not do more? She's a child and I can't take her innocence away from her."
"I understand this, I can see the way you look at her, so much passion and hurt all wrapped in one. You don't know what to do, do you? She loves you and you love her.
You don't want to hurt her but you don't want to get hurt either. Take my advice?
Don't do anything you or her is going to regret, if either of you get hurt, i'm going to blame myself. So be careful, i love you kiddo."
"Thanks Shawn, you know i love ya too you old man."
I watched Matt walk back in the room, I seen the saddened expression on his face,
but he changed it right away when he saw me. It was a smile, he was hiding something.
"Sarah want to play 20 questions? I love that game, only lets to like you ask me something I answer the truth and so forth."
"Yeah sure."
I never knew him to like this game, but I didn't really know a lot about him. It got to the 20th question.
"Sarah....do you trust me, with you...to know i'll never hurt you, and that i'd never do something you wouldn't want."
"what do you mean?"
"No more hints, just answer please."
"Well.....Yes."
"Mmkay, well this was a fun game. I'm going to head to bed. You going?"
"Umm, I think i'm going to stay up and watch some tv, if you don't mind. Make a few phone calls."
"Yeah thats fine. Night, love you."
"Night.I love you too."
I sat there in the silence for a while. Trying to figure out what in the world he meant by that. I called Jeff.
"Hey jeffro."
"Hey, what are you doing up? Matt okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine, I'm..not tired."
"Matt sleeping then?"
"Yeah, he just went to bed. What are you doing?"
"Writing songs, and such, what'd ya need anyways?"
"I can't just call to talk to you?"
"Is that all you wanted just to talk?"
"No, I had a question."
"whats up?"
"Matt said something around the lines of Do you trust me, you know i'll never hurt you, and i'd never do something you wouldn't want." What'd he mean?"
I heard a gulp.
"Sarah, are you a virgin?"
"What kind of question is that?!"
"Sorry, I'm just curious, you know Matt's not right?"
"I know he's not...and do you really want to know?"
"Yeah, it's kind of important."
"No...well not my choice..I got molested when I was younger."
"OMG, Sarah i'm so sorry."
"Jeff, it's fine, but what does this have to do with my question?"
"He just wanted to make sure him kissing you doesn't cross the line thats all, Hey i have to go, bye. Night sis."
I knew that was not at all what he meant. Otherwise he would have asked me before hand. It was something else. But that something else, I couldn't place.
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"Okay, okay okay chill."
I heard him telling Matt, it was me.
"Sarah? Did you watch?"
"Yes, and thats a part of the emergency..."
"Part?"
"Well, I kind of sort of wanted to make things up too you..so i'm..well..i'm outside of your house, wheres your key it's like 25 degrees outside."
"YOUR OUTSIDE MY HOUSE? HOW DID YOU? WHY DID YOU? WHAT?"
"I'm sorry just i'll be here when your here."
"I'm coming. Right now."
"Matt you almost got fired last night, lets not do that again."
"Jeff will cover for me, i'm going see you in a few hours."
and that was it. He was coming and I couldn't stop it. He forgot to tell me where the key was so I just sat on the front porch freezing. When he got there I didn't tell him I was cold, just went inside and acted like nothing happend.
"Are you hungry? Cold, anything?"
"Matt i'm fine, i've only been here a few hours and I ate before I left."
"Sarah, sit down."
I sat down and listened. I might as well seeing as I almost cost him his job, twice.
I didn't feel like arguing so I knew it couldn't be something too important.
"You know I love you...I said during Smackdown that I was sorry I fell in love with you because I caused you pain, I lied, i'm not sorry for falling in love with you, and I never will be. I'm sorry for causing you pain though."
I put my head on top of his chest and just laid there listening to his heart beat.
"All I ever wanted was to find the one, and now that I have, I don't know what to do with her. She means the world to me, and all i want to know is if she's sorry for falling in love with me?"
I stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Finally I cupped my hands around his face and leaned in close enough for him to feel the breath coming off my lips.
I leaned in even closer, so close our lips were almost touching. Then I wispered no,
and layed back down.
"Sarah?"
"Yes?"
He moved my head hit the floor, I don't think he meant for it to hurt, but it did.
Matt layed down next to my side and was off into space, I wanted to know what was going on it that head of his. All the sudden I felt him getting over top of me.
I was nervous, someone his weight could easily crush me, but he didn't. He was gentle.
He moved in towards my lips and kissed them, so gentle I almost didn't feel it.
"Good."
I layed there stunned, I had nothing more to say. Last time I kissed him, he couldn't get fired over what i'd done. This time he kissed me something he's never done. Just then his cellphone rang. Great way to ruin the moment. He got an intense look on his face and then left. I wanted to know so bad what was going on, but I wasn't about to be nosy.
"Shawn, listen it's not like that."
"Matt, you think i'm stupid? Jeff told me you weren't here because you went to go see her. I'm not telling anyone I just need to talk to you. Papa bear to his lil'
cub."
"Well then papa, thanks but I got everything under control."
"You love her. Don't deny that. But she's 14 Matt, it seems as if you've forgotten."
"I know, thats why I haven't done anything."
"You've kissed her, it's not hard to see behind your lies."
"Shawn? Why do you have to know everything, your like my dad."
"Thats what i'm here for, now do you want to talk?"
"It's just, it's so hard for me. I really don't feel like going to prision but it's hard to control. She is more beautiful then anyone, anything i've ever seen or met.
Everything about her is just right. I kissed her tonight Shawn. You know how hard it was for me to not do more? She's a child and I can't take her innocence away from her."
"I understand this, I can see the way you look at her, so much passion and hurt all wrapped in one. You don't know what to do, do you? She loves you and you love her.
You don't want to hurt her but you don't want to get hurt either. Take my advice?
Don't do anything you or her is going to regret, if either of you get hurt, i'm going to blame myself. So be careful, i love you kiddo."
"Thanks Shawn, you know i love ya too you old man."
I watched Matt walk back in the room, I seen the saddened expression on his face,
but he changed it right away when he saw me. It was a smile, he was hiding something.
"Sarah want to play 20 questions? I love that game, only lets to like you ask me something I answer the truth and so forth."
"Yeah sure."
I never knew him to like this game, but I didn't really know a lot about him. It got to the 20th question.
"Sarah....do you trust me, with you...to know i'll never hurt you, and that i'd never do something you wouldn't want."
"what do you mean?"
"No more hints, just answer please."
"Well.....Yes."
"Mmkay, well this was a fun game. I'm going to head to bed. You going?"
"Umm, I think i'm going to stay up and watch some tv, if you don't mind. Make a few phone calls."
"Yeah thats fine. Night, love you."
"Night.I love you too."
I sat there in the silence for a while. Trying to figure out what in the world he meant by that. I called Jeff.
"Hey jeffro."
"Hey, what are you doing up? Matt okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine, I'm..not tired."
"Matt sleeping then?"
"Yeah, he just went to bed. What are you doing?"
"Writing songs, and such, what'd ya need anyways?"
"I can't just call to talk to you?"
"Is that all you wanted just to talk?"
"No, I had a question."
"whats up?"
"Matt said something around the lines of Do you trust me, you know i'll never hurt you, and i'd never do something you wouldn't want." What'd he mean?"
I heard a gulp.
"Sarah, are you a virgin?"
"What kind of question is that?!"
"Sorry, I'm just curious, you know Matt's not right?"
"I know he's not...and do you really want to know?"
"Yeah, it's kind of important."
"No...well not my choice..I got molested when I was younger."
"OMG, Sarah i'm so sorry."
"Jeff, it's fine, but what does this have to do with my question?"
"He just wanted to make sure him kissing you doesn't cross the line thats all, Hey i have to go, bye. Night sis."
I knew that was not at all what he meant. Otherwise he would have asked me before hand. It was something else. But that something else, I couldn't place.
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