Kim and John broke up, and she's still holding on to pieces of him because it makes her feel 'Close'.

Close By                                                                                                                                     CraftyTink529

Boston, MA 


Hey Kim, its John. I just got home. I’m going to shower up and then I’ll pick you up and we’ll do dinner by the fire and we’ll just watch it snow. Baby, I love you and I can’t wait to see you. I’ve been thinking about you all day long.


It was just another simple voicemail message on the formerly perky red head’s cell phone. The only problem was it was from him, her now ex, from a year ago. She pushed ‘9’ to save it because even after breaking up just after the last holiday season, she can’t erase it.


It still makes her feel close to him. It makes her smile. It’s like he’s almost still with her. Until her tears take over and she still screams that she’s in hell. But she tells herself that she’s ready to let him go, she just can’t yet.


She glanced at herself in the mirror. She had on his worn out Springfield Football t-shirt with a pair of sweats. She’s been mad enough on at least a hundred or so occasions and tried to throw it out but never could. John used to wear it around on the weekends when he was home, just running around town.


“He probably forgot he even left it here.” Kim sighed at her reflection. “Oh well, it keeps me cozy.”


There was so much more to that statement than body warmth. The shirt, just like the voicemail, made her still feel that close to him, it made her smile. At least that was until she would start to cry and scream that she was still in hell over and over again, his face burning a memory in her mind. She removed herself form the looking glass and continued on with her scrap booking in her living room on the coffee table.


When he left in January and swore he would never come back because she told him she couldn’t deal with the constant in and out of their relationship. She felt a piece of her die. But the truth was a piece of her died each time he left for work again after only being with her a couple of days. It was never going to get easier and since his last relationship before her fizzled, he wasn’t so willing to give into a deeper connection like Kim had wanted. That fact added to their break up.


Kim Gray thought about it a million times. She thought about calling him just for that final piece of closure. She thought about getting rid of everything that she still held onto of John Cena and of what was their relationship. She thought about getting on with her life and giving love another try. Just one more try and if that didn’t work, she would be done.


But it was no use. The voicemail and the shirt still held her close to him. The box in front of her contained photos of them ever so often as she sifted through the various memories of her life not only with him but with family and friends.


She would pick it up, smile and start to cry again. Just like now as she glanced at photo of them, she would think of what hell and pain she was putting herself through by still holding onto him. But she couldn’t let go. She didn’t want to.


It was close to the holidays again. Maybe that was why she was taking it so hard. She had hoped that they would still be together, for it would have been three years, but it was no use. It wasn’t easy anymore.


As the snow began to fall just a little harder, her fireplace giving her that extra bit of warmth, there was a knock on her door.


“Who the heck is that?” Kim asked herself. She set her scissors down and hollered out, “Just a second.”


Picking herself up from the floor she headed for the front door. She glanced through the peep hole and gasped at the man on the other side. She stepped away from the door and cocked her head in confusion. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the handle and gently opened the door.


“Nice shirt.” John said. His blue eyes were bright, he worse no cap and his sweatshirt was dusted with snow.


Kim looked over his framed and noticed his jean clad body and tennis shoes. “You left it here.” Was all she could thin of saying, for she were still in shock. She hadn’t expected him here.


“I guess I did.” He lightly chuckled. “Can I come in? Maybe talk about some things?”


“Uh, yeah.” Kim whispered at first then cleared her throat and repeated herself a little louder this time.


John stepped inside and Kim closed the door behind him.


“Would you like some…..” Her words were stopped short by his lips crashing into hers. Kim could taste the mint on his tongue once she had allowed him access to her mouth. He had planned on kissing her when he showed up. He would always chew gum before kissing her. It was an odd thing he would just do.


There was some time before they broke apart. Both were breathless and John’s hands still cradled her face. Tears filled Kim’s eyes and were waiting to be shed.


“I know it’s confusing right now, but just hear me out okay.” John whispered.


Kim nodded as best she could. For some reason, she was thankful she never got rid of that old Springfield Football t-shirt.