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Mistakes                                                                                                                                 Chapter 10: Kyle

Randy wakes up unaware of how long he has been out. He opens his eyes, but closes them in pain immediately again, his head is throbbing, worst headache ever. He tries to get up in a sitting position, his entire body is tired and he's dizzy, so he abandons on getting up.

Randy places the palm of his hand on his forehead, something feels weird? He lifts his hand a bit and let his fingertips travel over the object. It's some kind of rough fabric, a plaster? He can't remember hitting his head. Actually he doesn't remember anything from before falling asleep. He takes a deep breath in through his nose, there is a scent of flowers. The air is fresh and clean, not heavy at all. Randys hand runs over the bedclothes. Smooth, soft silk. This isn't his house?

Has he got amnesia? He tries to remember back. Yesterday flashes through his mind.

Looking for Ted with Cody.
Ted leaving Legacy.
Codys confession.
The Ring.
Thousands of people staring.
Randy kissing with Cody.
Leaving the arena.

Was he alone?

A man! There was a man. Cody?

No… Not Cody… It was a blonde. A little overweight. Randy wanted to hit him, but he didn't… The man did. Then everything went black. He must have been blacked out since.

He opens his eyes slowly, the light coming through the window is blinding, it makes Randy want to close his eyes again, but he doesn't, he just places his hand horizontal, over his eyes to modify the light a little.

It takes his eyes a minute to get used to the heavy lighting. He looks around the room. It's small. The walls are painted orange, it feels warm. The single bed Randy is sitting on is in the corner of the room, farther away from the only door in the room, which is white with a gold doorknob. The window is opposite Randys position. It's both high and long. The windowsill is wide enough to allow a grown man to sit there. A big closet is standing up against the wall at the end of the bed.

Randy studies a big picture, which is hanging beside the door. It's a woman. She is lying naked on a huge, red silk cover. The cover is wrinkling. She has long, curly, blond hair, it's flowing in different directions. White roses, without stems, are spread around the cover and the woman. Her skin is light and pure.

Randy can't stop staring at the picture.

She is lying on her back, with her hips turned a little to the side. Her left arms is covering her breasts, actually her breasts is too big to cover with one arm, so it's covering her nipples and only a bit of the actual breasts. Her right leg is stretched out, while her left is bend. Left knee resting on the right thigh, just above the right knee. Because of her lower body is turned a bit, her left thigh is covering her noble parts. Her whole body is perfect curved and tight. She's not to thin or to fat. The picture wakes up the passion inside of Randy, he could continue on staring at it for hours, but suddenly a woman's voice fills up Randys ears.

"I'll go check on him!"

Randy is confused, who is that woman? Who will she check on and why?

The gold doorknob turns and the door into the unfamiliar room gets pushed open slowly, Randy turns his head to see who is about to enter. A tall, tanned woman enters.

"Oh, you're awake. That's good."

Randy can't believe his own eyes, the voice belongs to Layla!?

"How does the head feel?"

"Great," Randy whispers sarcastically: "What am I during here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Getting beat up…"

"Good, so you remember."

"Why am I here?" He asks again.

"I found you and brought you here."

"Have I been sleeping since?"


"For how long."

"I found you yesterday evening, it is afternoon now."

"Cody…" Randy stares into the empty air.

"You miss him?"

Randy looks back on her with a confused look, he doesn't feel like answering that: "We were supposed to meet at my house, he must be worrying sick," Randy gets on his feet slowly.

"Don't move," Layla says suddenly, getting into a defending position.


"I don't want you too close."

Randy sighs: "Layla I'm sorry for what happened. My anger flowed over, it's not like me," Randy knows that's a lie, he's aware of his ability to get angry in a split second, sometimes without a good reason. It is alike him. Layla lowers her parade.

"I believe you," she says, putting on a small smile. Randy is surprised she does.

"Why did you help me, I mean…"

She cuts him off: "Randy we saw the show. We know all about you and that guy of yours. We understood why you were mad, what we did to you was unacceptable… But after seeing you kiss that guy, we figured things had changed. Now that you're gay, you can't have… Children… So we thought maybe you wanted to…"

Randy doesn't let her finish: "I don't want your kid. And I'm not gay?" his tone doesn't sound too friendly.

"The kid is yours too. Kids need a father to look up to… Two mothers aren't enough."'

"I don't care and why did you call me gay?"

"I know it's much to ask for, but would you please consider it?"

Randy shakes his and raises his voice: "No, okay?! I don't want to be a father... For the third time, why did you call me gay?!"

"You kissed a guy and called him you're boyfriend?"

"Yeah I know that? But that doesn't mean I'm gay?" Randys voice has lowered, he feels a little stupid.

"What does it mean then?"

"Well…I could be… Bisexual? Or just confused, but I'm not? You know it's just a show right? It's storyline, none of it is real."

"You are a pretty good actor then, you really looked like you meant it?" she doesn't sound convinced at all.

Randy gets the feeling that she can look right through him: "You don't believe do ya?"

"Not at all..."

Randy looks down and he sighs: "I don't believe me either."


"I don't know what I am or who I am anymore. Cody does something to me… If he was here right now I would have called myself gay… I'm sure… I would do anything for him. But when he's not her, I'm not sure of anything…"

Layla cocks her head and listens carefully to Randy's words.

"When he's with me, my mind is all about him, I feel like the luckiest man alive, I feel like I have the perfect life. When he's not, I don't even think of him and then again. I feel empty."

"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard…" Layla whispers in love with Randy's speech.

"That's not sweet? It means I would fuck anybody when he's not around. He doesn't exist in my world, he feels like a fantasy."

She shakes her head: "Would you fuck me?"

Randy hesitates: "This is different, I mean…" She cuts him off: "No it's not…" She walks closer to him, so close that he can feel her breath. She looks into his eyes, they look needy. Her hand caresses his arm, as she leans forward, their lips only inches away from each other.

Just before touching, Randy turns his head.

Layla smiles: "Why did you turn?"

"I… don't know?"

"You're definitely into this guy," she smiles even bigger.

Randy hadn't noticed their little conversation, they sounded like friends. He told about Cody in a way he wouldn't usually do. This isn't as bad as it could be. They are connecting. She is actually sweet, he can't even focus on her earlier mistake. Or was it his mistake?

"I… I have to get home."

"You're welcome to stay, you shouldn't go anywhere in your condition."

"I have to talk to Cody."

"Call him?"

"What should I say?"

"Just say it as it is?"

"I can't…I don't want to scare him."

"Why would he be scared?"

"Because a fan attacked me? If I tell him he'll constantly be afraid of getting attacked."

"He's a grown man, I think he can handle it."

Randy can't stop thinking of Cody as a little boy: "Maybe you're right."

"Does he want children?"

"Let's not discuss that again."

Layla looks disappointed at him: "I'll do anything for you, if you just meet the boy."

"It's a boy?"

"Yes? Haven't I told you?"

"Maybe… Now that you say it, it feels like I have heard it before?" Randy remembers the strange man at the parking lot telling him it was a boy, he had forgot all about the gender immediately, the news was so stunning.

"Mommy?" Randy and Layla turns, a little boy is standing a couple of steps behind them, they didn't hear him come in. Randys mouth opens a bit and he stiffens, eyes locked on the boy.

The boy is around 3 or 4. Short, messy, brown hair. Chubby, child cheeks. Catchy grey/blue eyes like Randys. Perfect white smile. His mouth was luckily like Laylas. Randy hated his mouth, his classmates had always teased him about his mouth looking like the evil fish's from the movie, Help! I'm a fish – he still hates them for it, even though it's so many years ago.
The boy is higher than you normally are when you're 3-4-years-old, Randy was too.
He's thin with a beautiful posture. He is wearing a tight, black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans.

"Honey please wait outside, I'll be right out."

"But mommy I'm hungry," he says making his puppy eyes.

"I know. I'll be out in a minute."

"Can I have a cookie?"

"Yes," Layla says abandoning.

"Thank you mommy!" he says running out of the room again.

Randy is stunned: "Was that…"

"Yes, that was Kyle."


"Yes, your son."

Randy keeps staring at the door.

"Randy we still wanna share him, if you have changed your mind."

"I… I haven't… He looks just like me when I was a kid."

"You were a cute little boy then."

"Can I see him again?"

"Of course."

Randy follows Layla to the kitchen, she points out of the window.

"He's in the garden," she says, anxious about Randy's reaction.

Randy looks out, Kyle is playing in the garden with a cookie in his hand.

"What about a cup of coffee in the garden?" Layla asks hoping for Randy to say yes.

Randy hesitates, but not for too long: "Water?" he asks without taking his eyes of the boy.

"I'll find it, you can just go out there, I'll be right out."

Randy nods as he opens the door. He walks out and takes place in a plastic chair, which stands in the middle of the garden. Kyle is sitting in his sandbox, he's burying something, Randy can't see what. Kyle looks up from he's little burial and he finds out the stranger is staring at him. He gets up and walks towards Randy. Randy can feel tensions rising.

"What's your name?" Kyle asks smiling at Randy.


"I'm Kyle, nice to meet you," he says putting his hand in front of Randy. Randy haven't been around small kids much, but he can tell that it's a strange thing to do and say, when you're only 3-years-old.

Randy shakes his hand: "Nice to meet you too Kyle."

Complete silence.

"So… What were you burying?"

"My cookie. I couldn't eat all of it, so I buried the rest, I'll pick it up later… Don't tell mommy, she doesn't like when I eat things from the sand."

Randy laughs softly: "Okay, I won't tell her," he thinks Kyle is sweet and hilarious.

"What happened to your head?"

"My head?" Randy says touching his forehead, he feels the plaster: "Oh, I hit it."

"On what?"

"A door."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little."

"I have tried it too, it really hurt… But then mommy puffed on it and then it stopped. Do you want mommy to puff the pain away?"

Randy nearly breaks out in laughter, but he behaves: "No, I think I can handle a little pain."

"Did you cry when you hit your head?"


"Did you get a cookie then?"

"No I didn't."

"You can have the rest of mine if you want?"

"No thanks, I'm not allowed to eat cookies."

"Why not?!"

"I can't control myself,"

"What do you mean?"

"If I eat one, I'll eat a whole bucket full and then I'll get fat."

Kyle laughs highly, his laughter makes Randy smile even more.

"Here you go," Layla says placing a glass of water on the plastic table besides Randy.

"Thanks, what took you so long?"

"Oh… Uhm… Nothing?"

They smile at each other, Randy knows she wanted him to be alone with Kyle.

Layla sits beside him.

"Can I sit with you mommy?" Kyle asks, jumping up and down in front of her.

"Of course honey," she says picking him up. Kyles leg hits the unstable plastic table, Randys glass falls of the edge. Water is spilled all over Randy's shirt.

"I'm sorry Randy!" She says quickly putting Kyle back down on the ground and getting up to get Randy a new shirt.

"It's okay, just sit down again. The weather is nice, I don't mind being shirtless." Randy unbuttons it and put it on the backrest of the chair.

Kyle is stunned, his mouth drops open.

"You're big!" he shouts.

Randy looks at him and smiles: "I'll take that as a complement."

"Your tattoos are awesome, can I look closer?!"

Randy nods and squats. Kyle lifts Randys arm up a bit and he starts to study them all.

"Mommy he has skulls!"

"He has?"


"That's nice honey."

"Mommy can I get a tattoo too?!"

"No honey, you're too young."


"You can have another cookie?"

"No…" He looks mad at her: "When I get old like you, can I have the same as yours?" he looks at Randy with a look of expectancy.


"Thanks! I can't wait till I get old!"

"You think I'm old?"

"You're an old man?" Kyle doesn't understand that there is anything wrong with calling people old.

"I'm not old?"

"How old are you?"

"29, I'll turn 30 in April."

"You are old!"

"I dare you to call me old again!"

"You're a grandpa!"

Randy stands straight up, Kyle screams and runs across the garden with Randy right behind him, he slows himself down to give Kyle a chance.

"You can't catch me!" Kyle laughs running as fast as his legs allow.

"Slow down buddy! You're too fast!" Randy says slowing down even more. Kyle runs back to his mother, he is far away from Randy. Randy throws himself on the ground and plays dead.

"Have I killed him mommy?" Kyle asks scared.

"Maybe you gave the old man a heart attack?" She says holding her laugh back.

"I think I have to go check, you better call an ambulance, we can't lose him… He's too cool!" Kyle says running back to Randy. He had heard everything Kyle said, he is having a hard time holding his laughter back, Kyle is cute when he tries to sound like a grown up.

The little guy places his ear on Randy's chest: "His heart is still beating, we can still save him!"

Kyle opens Randy's eye, it's all white. He looks up at Layla: "Well, maybe it is too late?" He looks back at Randy, Randy is now staring directly at him, he jumps back and scream. Randy attacks him, laying him on the ground and starting to tickle him.

"Mommy, help me!" he screams with laughter.

Randy looks back to see if Layla is coming, she is not, cause Tina stands beside her and they are kissing. He looks back at Kyle quickly, he doesn't want to get a boner on, when the boy is lying right beneath him.

Kyle surrenders. They both get back on their feet.

Tina and Layla has stopped kissing, Randy thanks god for it. They walk back to them.

"Hello Randy," Tina says smiling.

"Hey Tina…"

Tina looks down on Kyle: "You need a shower before eating," she says lifting him up.

"No! I hate showers!" he complains.

"But you are going to have one anyway."

"Are you still here when I'm finished?" Kyle asks looking begging at Randy.

"I don't think so, I have to go home."

Kyle looks disappointed, "Bye bye Randy," he says putting his hand in front of Randy.

Randy smiles at him and shakes his hand: "I'll see you around buddy."

Tina takes Kyle inside.

"Kyle really likes you, I have never seen him connect with another human so fast."

"He's a lovely kid and he is smart too, I have never seen or heard a kid act and talk like that?"

"Tina is a good teacher."

"I see…"

Randy pauses and takes a deep breath in, "Shit… I forgot to call Cody… I really have to go home now."

"Please stay for dinner, Kyle would love if you did."

"No thanks."

They look at each other for a little while.



"Please consider…"

He hesitates: "I will…"

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